Holy Crap, Im an Army Wife?: Thank you Achli!

A year ago Jason and I split up for awhile. He hadn't worked in a year, and I was tired of working full-time, going to school, and taking care of hearth and home. I didn't need him, cause I was doing it all anyway, and I didn't want him, cause I was resentful of him. So, he eventually went somewhere else to find what we were lacking. Once we decided to call it quits I started dating... and boy that was a disaster!

I had lost all respect for Jason, everyone had, including himself. I felt like he had quit his job to stay home and play video games... and that was all I saw after that, even on the rare occasion that he did clean the house, or go somewhere with the kids... all I saw was him and that damn game.

While we were apart we found something that neither of us knew we hadnt had in a very long time... a friend. A friend who could say I hated you because you didn't see anything I did do, just the things that I didn't. A friend to say, you were there, but you were never actually here with us. A friend who could tell teh other one you are an idiot... and not have to worry about it coming back to bite you later that night, or week, or year. And, we started to enjoy each other again, and eventually to like each other... to give the other butterflies and feel them. And, to know without a doubt that somehow through out all of that we had never stopped loving each other.

Jason asked if we could go to talk to someone and see if we could save our marriage... if we still loved each other we could make it work. So we did, and we fought and accussed and fought somemore... but in the end we were able to talk it out.

By this time Jason had already talked to someone and was going to be sworn in... so staying married meant doing something that would really show Jason how much I loved him and that was to become an Army wife. But, the deal was BCT was make it or break it... we would stay together we would keep working on our marriage, but if he couldnt prove that he could finish what he started it would be over.

Oddly enough, just watching Jason do his initail swear-in... and for the first time be known as PVT Deane... made me feel so much pride. Another thing that was very unexpected... and everytime he told me he had done something new, learned something he never thought he would that pride would grow.

Thats how I made it through BCT, having never been apart longer than 4 days (even while we were seperated)... BCT was HARD! I did ok, most of the time, I reconnected with friends, and made some new ones, I took care of my kids, and I dyed my hair... whatever just to stay busy. And, when I saw Jason that first time on the PT field in OK... thats when I knew that this was what he needed all along.

I would never say that I would change a thing in my life, cause I wouldn't, but at that moment I wished that I had have let Jason go when he wanted to in high school... but then I wouldn't have my 4 beautiful babies... and we wouldn't be the people that we are now.

Seeing Jason walk across the stage and the pride on his face... it made all we have gone through worth it... and it made me realize that I actually Respected him again.

So I just have to give credit where it is due... Thank you Achli... wherever you are in bumfrick I-da-hoe! Without you we would still just be floating along in this state of pretend... thinking that if we could just keep putting up with each other it would all work out... Thank you for making us fight for what was important... and to find each other... and ourselves again.