Road to War

Went to my first FRG meeting last night. It was an information meeting about the upcoming deployment. As a new Army wife... this did not make me happy.

Hearing rumors and "knowing" that everyone deploys at some point... is not the same thing as getting a training schedule labeled "The Road to War." Jason's CO couldn't have called it a calender of events... or training schedule... NO... he had to call it (in big bold letters) the road to war. Really? Because it wasn't already scary enough just being their hearing it... now I have a reminder right there on my fridge!

I knew that this would come eventually, but when eventually hits it becomes more real, and though we are never promised tomorrow and we can get hit walking across the street ... I feel like this big ticking bomb just got placed in front of me saying... you could only have XX months left with your husband. I know that this is silly and that I should just enjoy those months that we do have left before deployment, but I cant help it.

I look across the room at my kids and my husband and think, what the heck were we thinking... no one ever dies working at Food lion! I don't want my kids to grow up without their dad... I don't want them going through the things that I went through growing up!

I guess this is where my faith in God and in my husband is going to have to come into play. I wont have time to sit and worry while Jason is gone. And, for the next few months I am going to have to start making friends, building a support system around me of people who will be going through the same things that I am.

I am just going to have to trust that my husband has trained hard enough, that his battle buddy is on Gods good side... and that his commanders are smart. And, that God looks out for all of them... and gets them through all of the upcoming training, gets them to their destinations, sees them all through in the field... and brings them home safe.